The really screwed up thing is, there was never a point at which what I saw in the mirror would have been my real reflection. There was no point at which I would have been satisfied with my stomach because there was never a point at which I could see myself as anything but flawed. 

Yesterday I held my pee so long that when I finally stood up from my chair I totally wet my pants. Not like ALL the way wet, but any pee in your pants is really enough pee in your pants.

I also forgot to drink water until 1:30. I took my meds two hours late. I sat at my desk so long that my shoulders are now in my ears. Possibly permanently.

Food is social and delicious, and many of our traditions and celebrations are around food. But food is really mostly fuel. It's the gas that keeps your body doingall the body things that need to be done everyday, like walking and breathing. And if you eat food that is shitty fuel, you’ll feel shitty.

Can I call myself part of the movement I live in the center of, if I don’t love all of my body, all of the time?

Where am I left if I love my body but still want to change it? Where am I left, if, at the intersection of self-love and vanity, I choose vanity?

Do I lose my credibility?

And if I don’t want to change my body, but you want to change yours? Is my self-love more real than your self-love — the self-love infused with breast augmentation?

Can I claim superiority?

Can self-love and vanity co-exist?

6. We are perfectionists. We are terribly critical of ourselves — of every detail. Because of this internal dialogue of self-loathing, we are often sensitive to criticism from others. This is deeply-seated fear of rejection. Please pause, if you are able, and choose your words with compassion. We may have lacked for love. We need it.