5 Things To Say To A Mother Who Has Lost Her Baby

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I think it’s helpful to know what things seem supportive but can actually be hurtful. I think it’s also helpful for people who have never experienced this loss to know that silence is painful, too. Sometimes when people don’t know what to say, they opt for nothing, pretending that everything is just as it was before, negating their life, and in that way, negating them.

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My Labor And Birth Didn't Go As Planned — And No, I'm Not 'Over' It →

I was lucky to have a group of care professionals who were fighting for me to have a natural birth, but I sobbed anyway. I was lucky to have a midwife who could have whisked me off to the OR, but instead, sat at the side of my bed for seven MORE hours to help my stubborn, egg-headed son to get his act together — but I sobbed anyway.

I was lucky that my body responded to the small amount of pitocin I needed to convince my uterus that it was supposed to be getting a baby out. I sobbed anyway.

I was lucky I didn’t have a c-section. I was lucky he was born, healthy and huge at 10+ pounds, from just two hefty pushes.

I was lucky.

I sobbed anyway.

This was not what I had planned.

 

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